Healing:  What to do if You or Someone You Know is a Survivor

Sexual assault and relationship violence is more common than we like to think.  Studies show that 1 in 4 women and 3% of men will be survivors of sexual assault, and one in four women will experience relationship violence, in their lifetimes.  Furthermore, sexual and relationship violence affects individuals of all ethnicities, sexual orientations and socio-economic statuses.  Thus, without realizing it, we all likely know someone who has been abused, assaulted or violated in some way at some point in their lives.  While we may want to help, many of us may not know how.  Here are a few suggestions for seeking help for yourself, or for responding to someone you suspect may be a survivor of sexual assault, rape, or dating violence. 

If you were recently assaulted - Helpful tips for self-care/action:

• Go to a safe place.
• Tell someone – a friend, family member, rape crisis advocate, or professional.
• Seek ongoing support – the resources on the following page are available to you.
• Medical follow-up is recommended to ensure your physical well-being.  This can be done at the local emergency department, student health, or your physician.
• You have the option of reporting.  Evidence collection can be done at the Emergency Department.  To pursue this option, it is best not to shower, bathe, change clothes or douche in order to preserve physical evidence.  Having evidence collected does not obligate you to proceed with legal or judicial action.  Anonymous reporting is an option.

If you were assaulted in the past - Helpful tips for self-care/action:

• Sexual assault and relationship violence can have a lasting impact on an individual's well-being.  Survivors may experience feelings of depression, guilt, anger, fear, grief and loss, and may find their relationships, academic performance, and day-to-day functioning affected.  If you are experiencing distress of any kind, please know that it is possible to heal. 
• Tell someone – a friend, family member, rape crisis advocate, or professional – even if you didn't tell anyone at the time it happened.
• Seek ongoing support – the resources on the following page are available to you.
• You have the option of reporting – to the police or the Office of Judicial Affairs, either formally or anonymously.

How to help a friend - Suggestions for being supportive:

• Be a good listener. – Respond to feelings as well as words.
• Believe her/him. – People rarely make up stories of sexual assault, rape or abuse.
• Don't blame the person – No victim asks to be assaulted; no one deserves to be assaulted.
• Provide support without taking over. – Encourage the individual to explore their options and let the individual make her/his own decisions. 
• Respect the individual’s privacy. – Let the individual decide whom she/he will tell.
• Be there during the long healing process. – Provide ongoing support.
• Take care of yourself. – The resources on the following page are available to you too.

If you think you have hurt someone:

• If you are experiencing distress because you think you have assaulted someone, seek support.  The resources on the following page are also available to you.